The current trial involving Lindsay Clancy has brought postpartum mental health back into public conversation. While the details of her case are heartbreaking and highly unusual, they have reminded many people of something important: postpartum mental health deserves our attention.

 

Too often, conversations about postpartum begin only after tragedy makes headlines. But for those of us working in reproductive mental health, postpartum isn’t a headline. It’s a stage of the family-building journey that deserves just as much preparation as every stage that comes before it.

 

In third-party reproduction, we spend months preparing for the moment a baby arrives. We carefully coordinate psychological evaluations, medical screenings, matching, legal contracts, medications, embryo transfers, delivery plans, and discharge logistics.

 

Then the baby is born. Everyone celebrates. And, in many cases, the emotional support quietly fades away.

 

That should concern all of us.

 

The Journey Doesn’t End at Delivery

 

As mental health providers working exclusively in third-party reproduction, we’ve noticed a pattern that deserves more attention.

 

Some intended parents struggle emotionally after bringing their baby home.

 

Not because they aren’t grateful. Not because they love their child any less. But because becoming a parent is one of the biggest psychological transitions a person can experience, regardless of how that child entered their family.

 

Many intended parents arrive at parenthood after years of infertility, pregnancy loss, failed transfers, financial sacrifice, uncertainty, and chronic stress. They’ve spent years living in survival mode, moving from one milestone to the next.

 

Then, suddenly, the journey they’ve worked so hard for is over.

 

For some, what follows isn’t relief. It’s anxiety. Hypervigilance. Fear. Difficulty sleeping even when the baby sleeps. Intrusive thoughts. A constant feeling that something bad is about to happen.

 

Others experience profound sadness, emotional numbness, guilt, or a surprising sense of disconnection from a life they’ve wanted for so long.

 

Many quietly ask themselves:

 

“After everything we’ve been through… why do I feel like this?”

 

These experiences are far more common than many people realize.

 

Postpartum Isn’t Only About Pregnancy

 

When most people hear “postpartum depression” or “postpartum anxiety,” they immediately think of the person who gave birth.

 

Hormonal changes absolutely matter. But hormones are only one piece of the picture.

 

Sleep deprivation. Identity shifts. Relationship changes. The enormous responsibility of caring for a newborn. Previous trauma. Years of chronic stress.

 

These experiences affect emotional wellbeing regardless of who carried the pregnancy.

 

In our rooms, we are seeing a trend that has increasingly shown that non-birthing parents can also experience clinically significant postpartum depression and anxiety. While the causes may differ, the emotional impact can be just as significant.

 

For intended parents, there can also be an added layer of guilt. After everything they’ve endured to become parents, many believe they should only feel happiness. They worry that admitting they’re overwhelmed somehow means they’re ungrateful. It doesn’t.

 

Gratitude and emotional distress can exist at the same time.

 

The Conversation We Aren’t Having About Gestational Carriers

 

There is another group we should be thinking about more intentionally.

 

Gestational carriers.

 

Unlike intended parents, gestational carriers experience the physical postpartum period. Their bodies undergo the same dramatic hormonal shifts that follow any pregnancy and delivery. Yet after birth, the clinical attention often shifts almost entirely toward the intended parents and the baby.

 

We don’t currently have robust research examining postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, or postpartum psychosis specifically among gestational carriers after completing a surrogacy journey.

 

That absence of data should not reassure us. If anything, it should encourage us to ask better questions.

 

Gestational carriers deserve thoughtful postpartum support not because we expect problems, but because they have experienced pregnancy, childbirth, recovery, hormonal changes, and a significant life transition.

 

Most gestational carriers do extraordinarily well. Some may need additional support. We should be prepared for both.

 

Success Should Include Emotional Recovery

 

As an industry, we often define a successful journey by one outcome: A healthy baby.

 

Of course that matters. But what if success also meant that everyone involved felt emotionally supported after the birth?

 

What if we routinely checked in with intended parents a few weeks after they returned home?

 

What if gestational carriers had structured mental health follow-up after delivery instead of assuming that because the journey ended, their emotional needs did too?

 

What if postpartum planning became just as routine as birth planning?

 

Those conversations shouldn’t begin only when someone is already struggling.

 

We Can Do Better Than This

 

The postpartum period shouldn’t be an afterthought in third-party reproduction. It should be part of the care plan from the very beginning.

 

As an industry, we’ve become exceptionally good at coordinating the logistics of family building. We plan medical timelines, legal contracts, medication calendars, psychological screening, matching, travel, and delivery with remarkable precision.

 

But once the baby is born, too many families and gestational carriers are left to navigate one of the biggest emotional transitions of their lives largely on their own.

 

We can do better.

 

That starts with acknowledging that postpartum mental health is not solely the responsibility of an OB, nor is it only relevant to the person who gave birth. It belongs in the conversation for intended parents, gestational carriers, agencies, fertility clinics, attorneys, coordinators, and the mental health professionals who support them.

 

What Would Better Care Look Like?

 

Imagine if postpartum planning became just as routine as birth planning.

 

Imagine if every agency and fertility clinic had a clear postpartum mental health plan before a journey even began.

 

That plan doesn’t have to be complicated.

 

It might include:

 

• Educating intended parents that postpartum anxiety and depression can occur even when they did not carry the pregnancy.

 

• Preparing gestational carriers for both the physical and emotional realities of postpartum recovery.

 

• Providing every family and gestational carrier with a list of reproductive mental health providers before delivery, rather than searching for one during a crisis.

 

• Building mental health follow-up into the journey itself through planned postpartum check-ins instead of waiting until someone asks for help.

 

• Encouraging agencies and intended parents to consider budgeting for postpartum mental health support just as they budget for legal, medical, and travel expenses.

 

 

None of these recommendations assume that someone will struggle.

 

They simply recognize that emotional care deserves the same proactive planning as every other part of the journey.

 

The Standard We Should Be Working Toward

 

Every person involved in a surrogacy journey deserves more than a successful delivery. They deserve support through the emotional transition that follows.

 

As reproductive professionals, we spend our careers helping people create families. Protecting those families shouldn’t end when the baby is born. Neither should our care.

 

If the recent public conversations surrounding postpartum mental health remind us of anything, let it be this:

 

The question isn’t whether postpartum deserves our attention.

 

The question is whether we’ll choose to prepare for it before someone is struggling.

 

The best care for the strongest journeys aren’t simply the ones that end with a healthy baby…they’re the ones where every person involved is given the opportunity to recover, adjust, and thrive long after delivery.

 

That’s the standard I hope our field should and will work toward.

 

 

 

 

Dr. Sadaf Sahibzada, PsyD, LMFT, is the Founder of Embra Health, a reproductive mental health practice specializing in psychological evaluations, consultation, and ongoing emotional support for intended parents, gestational carriers, donors, agencies, and fertility clinics. Through education and compassionate care, she is passionate about making the emotional side of family building just as supported as the medical process itself.