If this title caught your attention, there’s a good chance you’ve had a strange realization.

You are about to trust people you’ve only recently met with one of the most important experiences of your life.

For many intended parents, that realization can feel both comforting and terrifying.

On one hand, agencies exist because most people do not want to navigate surrogacy, donation, or other family-building pathways alone. They want expertise. They want guidance. They want someone who knows the road ahead.

On the other hand, family building asks people to place enormous trust in strangers.

Trust them with their finances.

Trust them with deeply personal information.

Trust them with difficult decisions.

Trust them with hope.

That can feel surprisingly vulnerable.

Trusting an agency does not require certainty. In fact, most intended parents never feel completely certain.

What they are often looking for is confidence that an agency can guide them through uncertainty.

That distinction matters.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when evaluating agencies is focusing exclusively on outcomes, timelines, or matching processes. Those factors are important, but they are only part of the picture.

You are not simply choosing a service. You are choosing people.

People who may be involved in some of your highest highs and lowest lows. People who may call with exciting updates, disappointing news, unexpected delays, or difficult decisions. People who may know more about your family-building journey than some of your closest friends.

The relationship matters.

One of the things we encourage intended parents to pay attention to is how an agency earns trust.

Do they welcome questions?

Do they communicate clearly?

Are expectations realistic, or do they feel overly optimistic?

How do they handle difficult conversations?

How transparent are they when things don’t go according to plan?

Healthy trust is built through transparency, not reassurance.

This is also a good opportunity to look beyond the sales conversation.

Many intended parents spend time comparing fees and timelines. We encourage people to learn about an agency’s values as well.

Are they engaged with professional organizations such as the Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS)?

Do they follow guidance and best practices established by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)?

Are they involved with RESOLVE or other organizations supporting the family-building community?

Do they contribute to the field beyond client acquisition?

None of these factors guarantee a perfect experience. They can, however, provide insight into how an agency views its role and responsibilities.

There is one question we believe intended parents should ask more often.

How will my mental health be supported during this journey?

Family building is emotionally demanding, even when things go well.

There will be waiting. There may be setbacks. There will almost certainly be uncertainty.

Yet many intended parents spend hours discussing legal, medical, and financial considerations without ever asking how they will be supported emotionally.

Family building is not just a medical journey. It’s an emotional one.

Ask what resources are available.

Ask whether mental health support is part of the process or embedded in their experience. 

Ask how the agency supports intended parents during difficult moments, not just successful ones.

The answer may tell you as much about the agency as anything else.

A Few Things Worth Remembering

When you’re choosing an agency, you’re doing more than selecting a service.

You’re deciding who will help guide one of the most significant experiences of your life.

Pay attention to how they communicate.

Pay attention to how they handle uncertainty.

Pay attention to how they respond when things become difficult.

The strongest agency relationships are not built on blind trust.

You’re not just choosing who can help you build a family. You’re choosing who will walk beside you while you do it.

Meet Dr. Sadaf

Dr. Sadaf Sahibzada, PsyD, LMFT, is the founder of Embra Health, where she specializes in the psychological aspects of surrogacy, egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, and intended parent support. Through her writing, clinical work, and professional education, she is committed to helping people navigate family building with greater confidence while encouraging agencies and clinics to integrate mental health throughout the entire journey.